Pasta dough

One of those days where we'd been to the park, the library, and collapsed in a heap with a cup of tea (lemon and ginger) on our return.

There was some debate about tea - I had three eggs that really needed using before they went off. You wanted pasta, not something eggy.

Fresh pasta and pesto won. This makes absolutely loads - we turned it into tagliatelli (hung up on a coathanger, to stop it all sticking together), bows/farfalli (take a rectangle and pinch it in the middle), papardelle (wide strips), and some lasagne sheets.

You'll need:

300g pasta flour (OO)
3 eggs

(You get the picture - it's essentially one egg per 100g flour.)

Whisk the eggs together to break them up, then tip into the flour (I tend to make a well in the middle and then pour it in). Mix to a stiff (not sticky) dough, and then knead for 5 minutes or so, until it starts to feel silky and malleable.

Leave for a few minutes (10 or so) to rest. I was looking at how Hugh Fearnley Whernly made his in the River Cottage Family Cookbook, and he was wittering on about wrapping the dough in a wet tea towel to stop it drying out, but I didn't bother, and it was fine.

Divide into six or so pieces. Shove each through the pasta machine on the widest setting, and then gradually decrease the setting so it becomes thinner and thinner. I find it helps if you dust the sheets with a little flour now and again, to stop it sticking (this was your favourite bit). If a sheet gets very long, I tend to chop it in half.

Once you have a flat sheet, either use a sharp knife to cut it to shape/size (you can ponce about and make all sorts of filled pasta as well, which is quite fun), or stick through the attachment on the machine to create tagliatelli. You did lots of bows today, and had great fun with some twists.

I tend to leave the pasta for a little while to dry out slightly before I cook it. It only takes 1-2 minutes, tops, in some boiling water. We ate ours with pesto tonight, some capers, olives and lots of grated cheese.

Ham and mushroom risotto

We weren't going to have this for tea at all, but the chicken that I defrosted smelled hideous, and went straight in the bin.

You'll need:

risotto rice: Nigel Slater says 250g for two greedy people, and that usually feeds the three of us, and leaves some over for lunch the next day
an onion, finely chopped
a clove of garlic, ditto
mushrooms, chopped very finely (I did them in the food processor today, because I managed to slice into my thumb while chopping the onion, and had had enough by that point)
some ham, chopped up
a splash or two of worcestershire sauce
lots of black pepper, a little salt, a little thyme
stock (or indeed, just some water with a stock cube in it)

Fry the onion and garlic in some olive oil or butter until they're translucent. Add the ham and mushrooms, and cook until they're softened. Chuck in the risotto rice, and stir round in the butter/oil for 20 seconds or so until it's all coated. Add the herbs, worcestershire sauce, and a splosh of stock (to just cover the rice).

Start the simmering process. You want each splosh of stock to be absorbed before you add the next one. Keep popping back every 5-8 minutes to give the rice a stir and throw in a bit more stock (playing with the cars and train set is a very good thing to do in between, we discovered today).

It took about half an hour today for the rice to be ready - it becomes beautifully soft and velvety. I sometimes think that eating risotto is like curling up in an enormous duvet.

Sausage and lentil bake

Another 'bung it in the oven and then forget about it' tea, which mainly came about because (a) we had some uncooked sausages left over from the barbecue and (b) I was going climbing up stupidly large walls.

You'll need:

a tin of chopped tomatoes
an onion, sliced
a clove of garlic, finely chopped
veg of some description - I had some mushrooms that needed eating, but I've also made this with courgettes or peppers
a couple of bay leaves, a pinch of thyme, and about half a teaspoon of smoked paprika
sausages
a few handfuls of lentils - 3-4 is enough for the three of us
lots of black pepper

First of all, you need to make a tomato sauce. Fry the onions and the garlic in some olive oil until they're translucent. Add the mushrooms/veg and cook until softened. Add the tin of tomatoes, a little extra water (some red wine would also go down well) and the herbs, and then leave to simmer for 20 minutes or so.

In the meantime, cook your lentils. Once they're soft, drain, and add to the tomato sauce, with lots of black pepper. Bung this mixture in a roasting tin, and add the sausages (you can create pretty patterns if you feel like it, but I just usually line them up). Cook in the oven for an hour or so, at about 180 degrees C. You might need to check it half way through to make sure it's moist enough - add a little extra water if required.

It works well with a little bread/pitta bread to mop up the sauce, and maybe a nice green salad on the side.

Lamb and potato curry

Your Dad really liked this one, but I suspect it was a bit spicy for you. It's those red chillies - they're really unpredictable.

This makes enough for three if you're eating it with some rice and a side dish.

some lamb, diced - I used the leftovers from the lamb with pepper and onion pilaf but you could use lamb shoulder
an onion, sliced
three or four potatoes, peeled and cubed
a large clove of garlic, chopped
a squeeze of tomato puree (probably about a tablespoon)
a teaspoon of ginger (an inch or so of fresh ginger would probably be better)
a red chilli, sliced
a teaspoon of turmeric
a teaspoon of ground cumin
a teaspoon of ground coriander

Fry the onion in some sunflower oil until it starts to brown. Then add the garlic, ginger and chilli, and fry for a minute or two. Add the tomato puree, cook for a minute, and then tip everything into a blender. Add a little water to loosen, and then whizz round for a minute or so. Ta da! You now have curry paste.

In the same frying pan you started off in, add a little sunflower oil, the rest of the spices, and then the lamb. Fry for a couple of minutes (if it's raw meat you've started off with, you'll need to brown it for longer - say5 ). Add the potato, the curry paste and then some water, so that all the potatoes are covered.

Simmer for a long time - an hour or so, until the potato is cooked and the liquid has reduced. You may need to add some more water from time to time, so it doesn't get too dry.

A beach barbecue

We spent the day up at Low Newton in Northumberland, with a sky that loomed grey and horrible, and a beach full of swirling sand.

It was all redeemed by a barbecue in the car park (in case it poured down, and we could escape into the cars). We lit the portable bbqs, got out some beer, the sky cleared, and the wind dropped. Perfect.

You'll need:

sausages (it isn't a barbecue without these)
a large baguette
salad (yesterday it was tiny tomatoes from Gran's garden, and chunks of cucumber)
some whole sweetcorn (and some butter/salt/pepper)
chorizo/babybels/crisps to keep the kids occupied while you cook the sausages
beer
ketchup/mustard of choice
some pudding (cake, strawberries, flapjack, that kind of thing)

Stick sausages on bbq. Attempt to avoid incinerating.

The sweetcorn's a little more fiddly - chop each sweetcorn into three, and wrap each in a piece of foil with a knob of butter. Stick on the bbq for 10 minutes or so, and then see if it's cooked. If it is, drizzle a bit of salt and pepper on top, and then try to avoid burning your fingers as you eat it.

tuna, tomato and caper pasta

This is probably the thing we eat most often when we come in tired from a long day - it only takes 20 minutes to make, and everything can come out of the storecupboard (bar the onion).
We'd been in town this afternoon (finding you some 'climbing shoes', otherwise known as black plimmies) so there wasn't much time to make some tea.

You need:

1 tin of tuna (doesn't have to be anything fancy - in fact in brine is better than in oil)
1 onion, finely chopped
a clove of garlic
1 tin of chopped tomatoes
a tablespoon of capers
a splash of balsamic vinegar
a squeeze of tomato puree
a couple of bay leaves and a fair sprinkle of thyme
lots of black pepper
pasta of your choice

Fry the onion and garlic in some olive oil until they are translucent. Add the tomato puree, and cook for a minute or so. Chuck in the tin of tomatoes, and add a splash of balsamic vinegar and the herbs. Bring to the boil, and then simmer vigorously for 10 minutes or so, before adding the tuna (flaked), and a tablespoon of capers. Simmer gently for however long you can, depending on how hungry you are.

It worked well with pasta twists today - the sauce gets caught in the twists quite nicely.

Lemon and rosemary chicken with feta and tomato salad

We made Captain Jack a dress this afternoon, at the Shipley Art Gallery (they were having a Top Shop Toy Shop day...).

To celebrate his cross-dressing exploits (picture to follow on View from Nappy Mountain sometime soon), I stuck some chicken in the oven for tea.

You'll need:

a couple of chicken pieces
half a lemon, sliced into large chunks
a drizzle of olive oil
some rosemary from the garden

Chuck the chicken in a roasting dish. Drizzle the olive oil over the pieces, thrown in the lemon and rosemary, and stick a bit of black pepper on top. Roast in the oven at around 200 degrees for an hour (or until the juices run clear when you stick a knife in the chicken).

We ate this with a green salad (natch), a rice, onion and pepper salad (does what it says on the tin, and was really to use up yesterday's rice that we'd had with the sticky pork ribs), and a feta and tomato salad.

2 large tomatoes, preferably fairly ripe, and sliced
whatever feta you've got left in the fridge (assuming you may have cooked roast vegetables, feta and couscous earlier in the week)
some nice balsamic vinegar (although maybe not as nice as the stuff I accidentally bought in Morrisons on Monday that I thought was £1.99 and turned out to be £5.99...)
salt and pepper

Combine all the ingredients in a bowl, and leave to marinade for half an hour.

Very sticky pork ribs

For once, it's stopped raining, so we had something for tea that was a bit summery round the edges, with lots of salad and yet another pilaf.

I nicked the idea from Nigella Lawson's Forever Summer but tinkered with the recipe - she adds a couple of chillis (which would be lovely, but would have made it far too hot for you), and lots of chopped spring onion, which (a) would have been destroyed in the oven and (b) we didn't have.

This was enough to cover 12 ribs:

2 tablespoons cider vinegar
1.5 tablespoons dark soy sauce
a piece of ginger, peeled and sliced
1 tablespoon runnyish honey
some pieces of star anise
some pieces of cinnamon
a dribble of sesame oil
a tablespoon of sunflower oil

Mix all the ingredients together in a jug, and then pour into a freezer bag. Add the pork ribs, tie up the bag, and slosh it all about, until they're covered with marinade. Leave for a long time in the fridge (all afternoon turned out to be perfect).

Shove in a roasting tin, stick the lid on, and put in the oven at 200 degrees C for about an hour. You'll then need:

1 tablespoon more of runnyish honey
a little sprinkling of Chinese five-spice

Drizzle/sprinkle this concoction over the top of the ribs, and then bung them back in the oven (minus the lid) for another 15 minutes or so. Turn over, swish about in the sticky stuff at the bottom of the tin, and return to the oven for 15 minutes. They should look dark brown, crispy and very very sticky. Mmmmm.

Salmon and pea pasta

You used to love this for tea when you were tiny (especially when I made it with the little star or alphabet pasta). I made it for the first time in ages yesterday, and you hated the cheese sauce. You can't win...

Makes enough for one toddler:

a small offcut of salmon
a tablespoon of frozen peas
a little butter, milk and flour
nutmeg
a little grated cheese
pasta

Put the salmon in a pan, and cover with milk (you could also add a bay leaf at this point). Poach for 5-10 minutes until the salmon is cooked through (how long it takes will depend on how thick it is). Take the fish out of the milk, and then flake (checking carefully for bones).

Add a knob of butter and a little flour and some grated nutmeg to the warm milk, whisking until the lumps have gone. Grate some cheese into the sauce, and stir until it thickens.

Stick the peas and the pasta in boiling water, and simmer until cooked (about 7-8 minutes for pasta twists, a lot less if you're using tiny pasta shapes).

Add the pasta to the cheesy sauce, along with the flaked fish. Grind a little black pepper on top.

Grown ups like this too, especially if you use mature cheddar in the white sauce.

Strawberry tea (scones)

It poured down all day, so this afternoon we opened up a strawberry tea cafe. We made scones, and wrote an extensive menu (strawberry tea, strawberry lunch, drinks) which was decorated with drawings of strawberries. You dressed up as a waitress with a frilly apron and took the orders with a notebook and pencil.

Here's the scones (another one of Grandma's recipes), which we ate with strawberry jam, squirty cream (Shaun the Sheep has a lot to answer for), and a pile of real strawberries.

1lb self-raising flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
40z butter
40z sugar
a couple of handfuls of raisins
1/2 pt milk
a little extra milk to brush the tops with (possibly your favourite bit)

Bung the oven on at 200 degrees.

Stick the flour and salt in a bowl. You should probably sift them, but I never bother. Life's too short. Rub in the butter until the mixture looks like very fine breadcrumbs. Stir in the sugar.

Add the milk, to make a soft but not sticky dough (you might not need to add it all - I didn't today). Turn out the dough onto a floured surface, and knead slightly. Roll out to 1/2 inch thick, and then get going with the cutters (we made traditional round scones today, and also a few heart-shaped ones). Brush the top with a little milk.

Shove into the oven for 10-15 minutes until well-risen, or golden brown. Cool on a wire rack. If you're lucky, I might buy you a three-tier stacking one like mine one day...

Carrot and lentil soup

It feels like the middle of autumn at the moment, so I made soup for lunch from some chicken stock that was lurking at the back of the freezer.

Makes enough for three or four:

one onion
a couple of sticks of celery
some chicken stock (or failing that, a stock cube/vegetable bouillon powder)
a couple of handfuls of lentils (red are good for this, as they go nice and sludgy)
four or five carrots

Chop up the onion and celery and fry together in a little olive oil until they are softened. Add the carrots (chopped), the lentils, and the chicken stock. Depending on how concentrated your stock is, you may need to add some more water - you want about a litre of liquid.

Season with salt and black pepper. You could add some cumin to this, but I've never really found it enhances it much.

Pissaladière

I first made this when we were away in France this summer, mainly because we needed to use up lots of onions before we left. We ate it on the train, somewhere between Bordeaux and Lille - the ticket inspector looked very jealous as he walked past.

Essentially pissaladière is a flat, open tart with lots of onions, anchovies and olives. I've tried making it with shortcrust pastry but it's a bit rich - a doughier option is what you're after. This scone-type base comes from your Grandma - it's also the base of her fishy pizza, which you'll get the recipe for at some point.

This makes enough for four people.

For the base you'll need: (I'm sorry it's all in ounces, but I can't bake as well in metric...)

8oz self-raising flour
a pinch of salt
a teaspoon of baking powder
2oz butter
4fl oz milk

Mix the flour, salt and baking powder in a bowl. Rub in the butter, and add the milk, until it forms a stiff, firm dough. Roll it out - this should be enough for an A4-sized baking tray.

(Don't forget to either line the baking tray with a silicon sheet, or brush with a little oil first - otherwise the base will probably stick).

For the topping you'll need:

lots of onions - at least 5 or 6 medium ones
a little garlic - a clove or two
a tin of anchovies (you'll probably use half)
some black olives

Slice the onions and garlic, and fry in some olive oil over a low heat for 20 minutes or so, until they're translucent and slightly gooey. Bung on top of the base. Criss cross the top with the anchovies in whatever design takes your fancy. Stud the top with the olives.

Bake in the oven around 180 degrees C for about 20-30 minutes. Keep an eye on it - you don't want the onion to burn.

UPDATE, June '10: It's also good made with puff pastry - see the picture at the top.

Lamb with pepper and onion pilaf

I thought this would be enough for three people, but in the end it could have fed nearer six.

You'll need:

leg of lamb (ours was butterflied, which made things a lot easier - it was about 600g)
a lemon
some olive oil
lots of black pepper

Slice up the lemon into chunks, and then sit the lamb on top. Rub a bit of olive oil into the skin, and then season with black pepper. You could bash some mint into the olive oil, and maybe add some toasted cumin seeds if you're in a Moroccan frame of mind (slash the skin, and then push the smashed up mint/oil into the slits). It depends really on whether you intend to eat it all that day or not, and if not, what you're going to reuse the lamb in - I'm not sure a Middle Eastern feel would really suit a Lancashire hotpot...

Stick in the oven on 200 degrees C for 45 minutes to an hour, depending on how pink you like your lamb. Give it a prod after 40 minutes or so, and check how it's doing.

In the meantime, you need to make a pepper and onion pilaf. For that, you'll need:

rice - about a mugful is more than enough for three
an onion, chopped up small
a pepper (red or green) chopped up small
slivers of almonds to scatter on top
a little flat leaf parsley

Fry the onion in some olive oil until its translucent. Add the pepper, and cook until its softened. Stick the rice in a pan, and add double the amount of water - cook until it's soft, but not sticky. Mix the onion/pepper into the rice, and serve with some almonds/flat leaf parsley scattered on top.

Roast vegetables, feta and couscous

It's another 'chop lots of things up then bung in the oven and wait for a bit' recipe. Your dad's favourite, actually, though he prefers his with pasta rather than couscous.

First of all, you'll need some vegetables to roast - today's included:

half a butternut squash
a pepper
a couple of onions
a couple of large tomatoes that were in the reduced to clear section cos they were slightly squishy

Courgettes are always good, as are baby tomatoes, pieces of carrot, red onions, parsnips...depends on the time of year, really.

Anyway, stick the oven on hot - 200 degrees C or so, chop everything up to roughly the same size, drizzle with lots of olive oil and season with lots of black pepper. You could make this herby by adding some dried Mediterranean herbs, or spicy if you add some chilli flakes or chopped up fresh chillies. If you add a stick or two of cinnamon and some star anise, it starts to turn a little more Middle Eastern.

Roast until the squash is squishy (I've always wanted to say that). Chop some feta cheese into large chunks, and make some couscous. If your roast vegetables are on the plainer side, you could add some ras al hanout to the couscous to make it more interesting. Assemble on a plate, and then serve.

We ate ours in front of the telly, while watching Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. You were long since fast asleep...

Sausages with spicy tomato and chickpea couscous

A bit of a cheat, really, as the only thing I cooked today was the sausages and couscous - the sauce was made a few weeks ago and has been languishing in the freezer for a day when we got in late. We spent the afternoon in Leazes Park feeding the ducks, clambering in the playground and eating ice cream, so there really wasn't much time to be terribly creative for tea.

To feed all three of us, you need

6 large sausages (3 for your Dad, 2 for me and 1 for you - although you often nick some of mine as well...)

tin of tomatoes
one onion, sliced
tin of chickpeas
tomato puree
cinnamon/cumin, maybe a little paprika
veg - a pepper/courgette/aubergine, whatever you've got
a clove of garlic

Fry the onion and garlic in some olive oil until they're translucent. Add the pepper/courgette/whatever, and fry for a couple of minutes more until they soften slightly. Add a teaspoon of cinnamon and cumin, and if you'd like it spicy a teaspoon of hot paprika or chilli powder/flakes, and a squeeze of tomato puree. Fry for a minute or two.

Then add your tomatoes, and probably half a tomato tin of water. Bring to the boil, and then simmer for 15 minutes. Add your chickpeas, and cook for another 15 minutes minimum - it'd benefit from about an hour altogether, I reckon.

Cook your sausages - I quite like bunging them in the oven, or grilling them. You could also put them into the sauce to cook - just put them in at the same time as the chickpeas, and make sure you cook them for at least half an hour.

Serve the sauce sloshed over some couscous (about 6 handfuls-worth of grains seems to work for the three of us), with some green salad. There's usually enough sauce left to stick a couple of portions in the freezer.

Chorizo and carrot pasta

Your godmother Jane gave us the recipe for this - she cooked it once for lunch at their flat when you, Wulfrun and Eafa were starving.

For one person you'll need:

half an onion
a carrot, very thinly sliced lengthways
spicy chorizo - however much you think you can eat (in your case, probably a lot)
pasta of your choice - twists or bows are always popular

Slice the chorizo thinly, and put in a frying pan to brown. Meanwhile, stick the pasta on. Once the chorizo is browned, take it out of the frying pan, and chuck the onion/carrot in. Cook in the chorizo oil until the onion is translucent and the carrot is softened and sweet.

Drain the pasta after 6-8 minutes once it's al dente. Throw into the pan with the carrot/onion, and the cooked chorizo. Grate a little parmesan cheese over the top, and season with lots of black pepper.

It's nice with a green salad and a sharp, lemony dressing. Tomatoes marinated in a little balsamic vinegar also go well.

Shortcrust pastry

This is dead easy to make (you're already doing it at 3, with a little bit of help). All you need to remember is that you need half fat to flour.

This makes enough for pie topping or a quiche base, plus a few jam tarts:

80z plain flour
4oz fat (usually butter, but marg would do just as well)
a pinch of salt
some cold water from the fridge, to mix

Rub the butter into the flour, until it resembles tiny breadcrumbs. You like doing this - especially shaking the bowl to make sure that any large bits come to the surface. Add a pinch of salt (if you wanted sweet pastry, you could add a couple of ounces of sugar here; I've even made herby pastry by putting a little mixed herbs in at this point too).

Drizzle a little cold water into the bowl, and mix. You don't want it to become too sticky - so do this gradually, until you can bring the pastry together with your hand. Roll in cling film, and bung in the fridge for 20 minutes or so to chill before you roll it out.

Bacon, potato and onion pie

I took this from the rather good Pie, by Angela Boggiano, and then adapted it a bit. Mainly because I thought that 7oz of cheese was overkill, and I didn't have any puff pastry in the house.

You helped me make the shortcrust pastry (you're rather good at rubbing in the butter and flour), and then roll it out over the top of the pie dish. We didn't make a bottom, seeing as the pie was carbohydrate-tastic as it was.

You need: (this makes enough for four by the way, although there's mysteriously only one portion left in the fridge at the moment...)

a couple of potatoes, peeled
6 rashers of smoked streaky bacon, chopped
2 large onions, sliced thinly
some cheese (we had Edam in it today, but I suspect that mature cheddar would be nicer)
a little cream - 2 or 3 tablespoons
black pepper

Boil the potatoes (whole) for 10-15 minutes until they're tender. Leave to cool a little and then slice. In the meantime, fry your bacon in a pan until it colours (a couple of minutes), and then add the onions. Cook until the onions turn translucent.

Layer the potato slices and onion/bacon mixture in a pie dish. Grate some cheese over the top, and drizzle the cream. Season with black pepper.

Next, stick your pastry over the top. Make a couple of slits to let the steam out, and then put in the oven at 180 degrees C for half an hour or so, until the pastry has gone light brown and crispy.

We ate this with a green salad, and a few runner beans/broad beans from the garden, which you really weren't keen on. Oh well.

Black halibut and parma ham parcels

Sounds poncey. In reality, it's whatever cheap fish Morrisons had, wrapped in some parma ham. We'd been out all afternoon strawberry picking (and eating) near Corbridge, so when we got home this was all I felt like cooking.

You need:

some nice pieces of fish - black halibut was ok, but was one of those fish that falls apart rather, and is a bit squidgy. Something firm (like monkfish, assuming you win the lottery, or salmon), might be a better bet.
a few slices of parma ham

Check the fish for pinbones, and remove any that you see. Wrap each piece in parma ham. Stick in the oven (at around 175 degrees C) for about 20-30 minutes, until the parma ham goes crispy, and the fish is cooked through. It'd probably work quite well if you pan fried the fish pieces too.

We ate this with chips (slice some large potatoes reasonably thinly (leave the skins on), drizzle a bit of olive oil over the top, and stick in the oven on a high heat for 30 minutes or so), a green salad and some rhubarb chutney.

Obviously, there were strawberries for pudding...

Owl Surprise

I made Italian beef stew with rosemary and olives for tea, with some new potatoes from Grandma's garden. You hated it. So I'm not sure you'll need the recipe.

Pudding was a lot more successful, but then it always is. Today's was Owl Surprise. I can't remember when (or why) the idea of there being an owl in the kitchen sorting out the puddings started, but it seems to have been going for a while now.

Anyway, for Owl Surprise (for one small toddler) you'll need:

a pretty bowl or sundae glass (usually found at the bottom of a pile in a charity shop)
fruit, chopped - today was banana and blueberries, but there's often dried apricots, dates, plums, strawberries or pear in there
a large spoonful of yoghurt (preferably Greek)
something interesting to be sprinkled on top (Smarties are a hot fave, or crushed up biscuits), or a biscuit to sit on the side (pink wafers are unaccountably popular)

Layer the fruit and yoghurt in the sundae glass. Sprinkle the exciting bits on top.

Spaghetti bolognese

An oldie, but a goodie, to quote my mum. (note - a goodie, not a Goodie. That would be something entirely different.)

I suspect this recipe is nothing like an authentic bolognese, but hey, this is what I remember my mum making in the 1970s, and it was one of the first things I learned to cook, so this is what we have too.

Makes enough for 4-6 (depending on how greedy you are).

500g lamb mince (can be done with beef or pork too, but I like lamb the best)
one large onion, chopped
one clove of garlic, finely chopped
couple of sticks of celery, chopped
diced peppers (we had a bit of red and green pepper in this today, as that's what was left in the fridge - sometimes I also add some courgette, or carrots)
a tin of tomatoes
tomato puree - a tablespoon (I didn't use this today, as I still had some sauce left from the pizza on Sunday, which I bunged in instead)
couple of bay leaves
black pepper
dried mixed herbs (you could use thyme, oregano, basil...you choose)

Fry the mince in a hot pan until it turns brown. Add the garlic and onion, and fry until translucent. Throw in the rest of the celery and peppers, and cook until softened. Add the tomatoes (and a little extra water - rinse out the tomato can), tomato puree, bay leaves, herbs and black pepper, and heat until it bubbles. Turn down, and simmer for a while - an hour or more is perfect. It's edible after 30 minutes (especially if you use passata instead of the tomatoes, as the sauce cooks down quicker).

Eat with lots of spagetti and parmesan cheese. Twirling around the fork optional.

Pork and vegetable stir fry with noodles

Your dad came back late from the Big Chill today, so you had tea on your own in the kitchen - not completely on your own, as I sat next to you at the toddler-sized table, and attempted to drink a cup of tea.

This is one of your favourites - it works just as well for big people, but they don't get quite as excited by the idea of squirting a tiny fish full of soy sauce all over the noodles.

If you're making it for us three, you'd have

pork - I used a couple of lean pork chops today, but you could use pork loin instead
an onion, sliced
a pepper, sliced
some carrot, finely sliced lengthways
some spring onion
a clove of garlic, sliced
fresh ginger, finely chopped
(you could also add some beansprouts, celery, or anything else crunchy)
noodles

Cut the pork into thin strips. I stuck them in pretty much as is today, but you could always marinade them for an hour in a little soy sauce mixed with rice wine, a spoonful of honey and a little fresh ginger grated on top.

I do the noodles first - then they're ready and waiting to go into the pan/wok once everything else is done. It's a right pain faffing on with kettles of boiling water/draining noodles once you're in the middle of making sure the stir fried veg doesn't stick. So get them sorted - add some boiling water, and cook for about 3 minutes. Drain using a colander, and then rinse under the cold tap so they stop cooking, and hopefully don't stick together.

Heat some oil (preferably sunflower rather than olive) in a frying pan/wok until it's very hot. Chuck the pork in, and keep moving around so it doesn't stick too much. Once the pork's turned white, and started to go brown, chuck in the garlic and ginger, and stir fry for 20s or so. Add the veg, and stir fry for a couple of minutes. Try a piece to see if it's still too crunchy, or just cooked enough. Carrots are a good bet for this.

Anyway, at this point hurl the noodles in. Swish about, taking care to not let them stick ti the bottom. They inevitably will, and you will swear once you're washing the pan up, but nevermind.
You could add some soy sauce/rice wine at this point, if you feel so inclined, or leave it plain, so everyone can add their own afterwards.

Serve. Get the chopsticks out. We've taken you to Wagamama enough, so you should be pretty good by now.

Pizza

We've spent the day at the coast, visiting Souter lighthouse and picnicing/digging sandcastles in the rain, so tea needed to be quick, and filling.

One batch of pizza dough from the breadmaker - 300g of flour makes enough for pizzas for four, as long as you've got some salad to go with it. Alternatively you could buy some plain pizza bases from the supermarket, but it's not half as much fun.

Pizza sauce - I had some of yesterday's mediterranean vegetables left, which I shoved in the blender to make a smoother sauce. Otherwise you'll need:

one onion
a clove of garlic
a tin of tomatoes
herbs (oregano, thyme etc)
black pepper
a little sugar/honey
a splash of balsamic vinegar

Chop the onion and garlic finely, and then fry in some olive oil until translucent. Add the tomatoes, herbs, black pepper, and heat until the sauce is bubbling. Turn down to a simmer, add a splash of balsamic vinegar, and half a teaspoon of sugar/honey, and then leave to cook down, until the sauce is no longer watery. Half an hour will do, but you could leave it for longer. (Oh, and by the way, stick the oven on at this point, as high as it will go - it'll take a while to get to the right temperature.)

Place your base on a tray (preferably on a silicon baking sheet, or just on the racks in the oven, depending on how clean they are). Spread your tomato sauce over the base, and then add:

olives/capers
veg - mushrooms are good, as are courgettes at this time of year. Your dad likes chillies as well, but I'm more of a wuss.
anchovies
thinly sliced cheese - I know you're supposed to use something like mozarella, but to be honest it usually ends up being mature cheddar, as that's what we always have in the fridge.

Shove in the oven (which will now be piping hot). Takes about 8-10 minutes until the pizzas are crispy - although if you're making smaller pizzas they can be a bit quicker.

Your favourite toppings at the moment are olives, capers and anchovies. You have expensive tastes...

Mediterranean vegetables, halloumi and couscous

I made this a while ago when your Gran and Grandpa were here, but then I gave Gran the vegetarian cookery book I filched the recipe from, so I've no idea if this is the same thing or not.

Makes enough for four:

an onion, sliced
a clove of garlic, chopped
two peppers (red/yellow/green/orange - doesn't really matter), sliced into chunks
a courgette, sliced
some mushrooms, quartered

(you could also add aubergine, or whatever else is lying around)

a tin of tomatoes, and a squirt of tomato puree
herbs - some thyme, oregano, mediterranean herbs - whatever you've got really

couscous (about 1/4 of a 500g bag - depends how greedy the people are that you're cooking for, I suppose)
a block of Greek halloumi cheese (couple of hundred grams or so...)

Fry the onions and garlic in some olive oil until they are translucent. Add the peppers, cook for a couple of minutes until they soften, and then bung in the courgette and mushrooms (you might have to add a little more olive oil at this point. Cook for a couple more minutes, then add the tin of tomatoes, tomato puree, a screw of black pepper and a teaspoon of herbs. Simmer for a while - it's probably edible after 20-30 minutes, but it's better when you leave it for an hour.

The halloumi's really nice if you slice it, and put it into a greased griddle pan (brush it with olive oil) on a high heat - you should get some nice stripes if you fry them for 30s-1 minute on each side.

For the couscous: melt a knob of butter in a saucepan, and add the couscous grains, coating thoroughly. Add boiling water - enough to cover the couscous by about a centimetre. Let it bubble away for a couple of minutes until the water has been absorbed, then stir with a fork, to break the grains up. Check how hard it is - you may have to add some more water and give it a little longer.

To serve: take four bowls, dollop some couscous in each. Slosh the mediterranean vegetables on the top, and then place three or four slices of halloumi on each portion.

Me, your gran and your grandpa had this for tea, but you said you didn't like the squeaky halloumi cheese, so yours came with a few slices of chorizo instead.

Telly tea

Usually only happens at a weekend, but we'd been to IKEA today and stayed for lunch, so tea was a more laid-back affair.

salad of some description (sticks of carrot and cucumber today, with some baby tomatoes - but whatever's in the fridge will do)
fruit (pears and plums today)
cheese (you like mature cheddar, I'm rather partial to camembert)
chutney (we're currently eating our way through the November 2006 batch of Nigella's spicy apple chutney)
dried fruit (raisins/apricots/dates/figs)
maybe some crisps if we're really pushing the boat out
fresh bread/cheese biscuits

Lay out on a plate. Carry plate to the living room, place on 1950s coffee table, sit in telly chairs and eat!

Happy Feet was surprisingly good too.