Fig tart

There were so many figs around in the hedgerows at Grandma and Grandad's that we made fig tart. This is not the sort of thing that you'd make if you had to buy them in Sainsbury's.

You'll need:

20-24 figs, halved
a good dusting of icing sugar (preferably infused with vanilla)
8oz flour
3 oz butter
2 eggs (lightly beaten)
a little water

Stick the oven on at about 180 degrees.

Rub the butter into the flour, and add the eggs. Mix gently until the dough starts to come together (you may need to add a little cold water if there's not enough liquid). Wrap in clingfilm, and chill in the fridge for half an hour.

Carefully roll out the pastry, and use to line a flan tin. Place your halved figs on the pastry base in whatever pretty pattern you fancy, and then dust liberally with the icing sugar.

Bake in the oven for 35-40 minutes until the figs are cooked.

Chicken, coconut and potato curry

This one was a bit of a 'let's see what there is in the fridge and chuck it in' curry. Makes enough for 4.

You'll need:

1 large chicken breast (or whatever cooked chicken you've got hanging about), sliced
4 medium potatoes, peeled and chopped into chunks
1 onion, finely chopped
1 clove garlic, finely chopped
1 yellow pepper, sliced
a handful of spinach
4 or 5 mushrooms, sliced
1 tin of chopped tomatoes
about half a block of creamed coconut, dissolved in about a tin of hot water
2 teaspoons dried ginger (fresh would be even better)
2 teaspoons ground coriander
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon turmeric
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon chilli powder

Chuck the onions and garlic in a frying pan with a little oil, and fry until translucent. Add all the spices, and fry for another couple of minutes. Add the chicken, and stir, coating it in the spices. Cook for 4-5 minutes, and then throw in the pepper/mushrooms/spinach/whatever, and stir round until they're soft.

Add the tin of tomatoes, and stir in the coconut/water. Tip in the potatoes, and bring everything to the boil. Leave to simmer for as long as it takes the potato to cook - the longer the better (45 minutes or so), though you may have to add a little extra water if it starts to stick to the bottom of the pan.

Eat with lots of basmati rice, and a scattering of cashew nuts on top.

Pickled runner beans

Seeing as how you and your Dad don't like these, I'm running out of other options. They're edible in two weeks...fingers crossed.

Will allegedly keep for 12 months.

You'll need:

500g runner beans, de-stringed, trimmed and sliced
250ml vinegar (I used pickling vinegar, but I suspect cider or white wine vinegar would be good too)
50ml water
150g sugar
1 teaspoon ground allspice
1 teaspoon coarsely ground black pepper

As ever, you'll need a couple of sterilised jam jars - I used a couple of old coffee jars.


Chuck the runner beans in a saucepan with some boiling, slightly salted water, and boil for 5-6 minutes, until they're cooked (try them and see!).

In a smaller pan, add the water, sugar, allspice and pepper to the vinegar. Heat gently until the sugar dissolves, and let bubble away for a couple of minutes.

Drain the cooked beans, and return to the pan. Pour the vinegar solution over the top, and then simmer for another 4-5 minutes.

Strain the runner beans (keeping the vinegar solution), pack into warm sterilised jars, and then top up with the vinegar.

Screw the lids on, label the jars, and leave at the back of the cupboard for a bit.

Aunty Michelle's lamb tagine

We've eaten this in England and France, and it's fab. Today was no exception.

You'll need:

1kg cubed, boneless lamb (I did it today with lamb shoulder on the bone, and just cooked it for longer)

1 tablespoon ground ginger
1-2 teaspoons coarsely ground black pepper
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1 tablespoon turmeric
1 1/2 teaspoons paprika
1/2 teaspoon chilli powder

3 garlic cloves
4 large onions, finely chopped or grated
olive oil

1/2 teaspoon salt
a handful of dried apricots
50g raisins/sultanas
50g flaked almonds
1 tablespoon honey
300ml tomato juice (I used water and a good squirt of tomato puree today)
1 can chopped tomatoes
300ml lamb stock

Stick the oven on at about 170 degrees C.

Mix the spices in a bowl, add the cubes of lamb, and coat evenly. Brown the lamb in a large frying pan (you'll probably have to add some olive oil to stop it sticking). Sling into your casserole dish. Fry the onions and garlic in the pan, until soft (again, you'll probably need a little olive oil). Tip these into your casserole dish too.

Add the apricots, raisins, flaked almonds, honey, tomato juice, chopped tomatoes and lamb stock, and season with a little salt. Cover your dish, and cook in the oven for at least 2 hours. You could do this on the hob too - just be prepared to add a little extra water if it looks a little dry.

Eat with couscous, and the inevitable courgettes.

Courgette and feta tart

Courgette, allotment, glut, yada, yada...

We've spent the day recovering from the delights of birthday parties, beaches and too much cake. So pastry for tea was the ideal solution. This makes enough for 3-4 people, or 2 very greedy ones.

You'll need:

a couple of large courgettes, sliced
3 medium onion, finely sliced
1 clove of garlic, finely chopped
a good slosh of olive oil
half a pack of feta cheese, cubed
the scone base from Grandma's pizza or shortcrust pastry - they're both nice with a teaspoon or so of dried thyme added to the flour.

Stick the oven on at about 180 degrees and fish out a baking tray (you'll need to grease it or line it with greaseproof paper).

Fry the onions and garlic in the olive oil until they've softened. Roll out your dough/pastry, and line the baking tray. Scatter the onion across the base, and then lay out the slices of courgettes in whatever pretty pattern takes your fancy - I like the geometric niceties of rows, but you could go all out for arty-farty if you've got time. Scatter the feta cheese across the courgettes, drizzle a little extra olive oil all over, and season well with lots of black pepper.

Bake for 20-25 minutes, until the base is crispy and the feta cheese browned. Goes well with a green salad, and Patak's aubergine pickle.

Birthday cake

I can't claim this one for my own - it's based on Nigella's buttermilk birthday cake. As she says, it's perfect - it'll take any shape, and slice beautifully without collapsing.

You'll need:

1 large swiss roll for the turrets (you could make your own, but I ran out of time, and Morrisons came up trumps)
4 ice cream cones
1 very large pack (1kg) of ready roll fondant icing
a tube of smarties
a tube of pink icing (once again, you could make your own and pipe it, but life's too short)
black food colouring
a tablespoon or two of apricot jam (or gooseberry, or something pale)
a couple of tablespoons of strawberry jam, to sandwich the cake layers

For the cake sides, you'll need a 23cm (9 inch) square cake tin. And the following:

125g butter
200g white sugar
3 eggs
75g yoghurt mixed with 125ml milk (or 200ml buttermilk)
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
250g plain flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon bicarb of soda
1/4 teaspoon salt

Stick the oven on at about 180 degrees, and line your cake tin with greaseproof paper (bit fiddly, but worth it).

I did all this in the food processor, as it's a right pain if you have to beat the butter and sugar together by hand (an electric mixer would probably be even easier).

Sling in the butter and sugar, and pulse on a high speed until they are light and fluffy. Slowly add the eggs (one at a time) on a lower speed, until everything's blended together.

Pour the yoghurt, milk and vanilla into a measuring jug, and mix well. In a bowl (or second jug), mix together the flour, baking powder, bicarb and salt. Add a couple of tablespoons of the flour mix to your egg/butter/sugar combo in the food processor, and blitz for 20s or so. Do the same with a couple of tablespoons of the yoghurt/milk/vanilla mix. Repeat ad nauseam until everything is combined. It's a bit of a faff, but does make for a light cake.

Pour into your cake tin, and then bake in the oven for about 35 minutes, until it's golden brown on top and a skewer poked into the middle comes out clean. Cool on a rack for 10 minutes or so in the tin, and then leave to cool, preferably overnight.

To assemble your palace, you'll have to wrap each of the main components in fondant icing. Divide the swiss roll into 4, and then brush boiled jam over each segment. Roll out about a quarter of your fondant icing (you'll want to dust the surface liberally with icing sugar), cut into wide strips and then roll up each swiss roll piece in it.

Divide your main cake into 4 long strips. Halve each of these, and sandwich them together with a layer of strawberry jam. Brush all over with boiled jam, and then cover with fondant icing.

Decorate with pink icing (use this to stick on the Smarties). I also coloured some of the fondant icing with black food colouring, to make some doors/windows.

Stick the cones on top of the turrets, and add some flags/candles. On no account attempt to assemble all this on a windy, sandy Northumberland beach...

Party food

Outside catering is always interesting, particularly when it's for a bunch of kids aged from almost 2 to 8. And we decided to do a beach birthday party for your 4th birthday, so it wasn't exactly practical to schlep in large plates of food that could get overturned in the sand.



The result? Small sandwich boxes (4 for £1 in Morrisons), filled with:

2 baby tomatoes (your favourite)
a tiny bunch of grapes
a few carrot sticks
a small sausage roll
a tiny dough ball, filled with cream cheese

We also added a carton of apple or orange juice, a packet of Hula Hoops, and a tiny packet of Iced Gems (which most of the grown ups looked longingly at).