Cat cake

Here's Millie's 5th birthday cake. As ever, it was Nigella's buttermilk birthday cake recipe - the perfect construction cake. I used a massive round cake tin (I think it's 30cm across), and a smaller, 7inch sandwich tin.

You'll need

250g butter
400g white sugar
6 eggs
150g yoghurt mixed with 250ml milk (or 400ml buttermilk)
3 teaspoons vanilla extract
500g plain flour
3 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon bicarb of soda
1/2 teaspoon salt

Stick the oven on at about 180 degrees, and line your cake tin with greaseproof paper (bit fiddly, but worth it).

I did all this in the food processor, as it's a right pain if you have to beat the butter and sugar together by hand (an electric mixer would probably be even easier).

Sling in the butter and sugar, and pulse on a high speed until they are light and fluffy. Slowly add the eggs (one at a time) on a lower speed, until everything's blended together.

Pour the yoghurt, milk and vanilla into a measuring jug, and mix well. In a bowl (or second jug), mix together the flour, baking powder, bicarb and salt. Add a couple of tablespoons of the flour mix to your egg/butter/sugar combo in the food processor, and blitz for 20s or so. Do the same with a couple of tablespoons of the yoghurt/milk/vanilla mix. Repeat ad nauseam until everything is combined. It's a bit of a faff, but does make for a light cake.

Pour into your cake tin, and then bake in the oven for about 35 minutes, until it's golden brown on top and a skewer poked into the middle comes out clean. Cool on a rack for 10 minutes or so in the tin, and then leave to cool, preferably overnight.

Next, assemble your cat. You'll need:

some ready roll white fondant icing (life's too short to make your own)
jam to slather over the cake, so the icing will stick
a little icing sugar, for rolling out the icing
chocolate fingers for whiskers (I tried to find black licorice laces, but couldn't get hold of any in time)
chocolate buttons for eyes
some chocolate icing for piping - I bought some ready-made stuff in a tube, so it was easy to draw on paws and stripes

First, cut your small cake to size, and save two triangles for the ears. Then, melt your jam in a saucepan (or microwave), and brush over the cakes' surfaces. Roll out the fondant icing (if you scatter icing sugar everywhere it shouldn't stick), and carefully cover the cakes and ears.

Add the decoration - stick the chocolate button eyes and chocolate finger whiskers on with the chocolate icing, and draw on some paws and a nose.

Decant into a tin, transport very carefully for 45 minutes in the car, and serve on a windy Northumberland beach.

Oaty date slices

These are brilliant for lunchboxes, and vanish faster than a particularly fast thing. I found the recipe in Olive's July issue, and tweaked it a little bit.

You'll need:

100g porridge oats
100g self-raising flour
100g butter
50 soft brown sugar
200g stoned dates, chopped
2-3 tablespoons lemon juice

Sling the oven on at about 180 degrees C, and fish out an 18-20cm square baking tin. Line it with greaseproof paper.

Mix the oats and flour together, and tip into a food processor. Add the butter, and pulse until it's all well mixed (you could rub this in by hand, but this is far quicker). Add the sugar, and pulse again until you get a crumbly mix - tip it out of the food processor and into a bowl.

Pour the lemon juice and chopped dates into the food processor (don't bother cleaning it out from the crumble mix, it'll be fine), and blitz until you get a thick, jam-like consistency. You might need to add a little extra water to make it easier to spread.

Press half the crumble mix into the bottom of your tin. Spread over the date jam. Top with the remaining crumble mix, and press down firmly.

Bake in the oven for 30 minutes, until it's golden brown. Cut into small squares while it's in the tin, and then leave to cool (still in the tin). Once it's cold, you can lift the whole lot out using the greaseproof paper.

Chard and chorizo tart

The chard plants have gone rather mad on the allotment this year - here they are a month or so ago - they're now well over six feet tall.



So we've eaten lots of chard with a dash of lemon juice and olive oil, and it's been cunningly hidden in all sorts of vegetable sauces. But before outright rebellion began, I had the bright idea of combining it with chorizo...

You'll need:

a large bagful of chard leaves (you could also use spinach)
1 onion, finely chopped
lots of chorizo, sliced (I used about 10 slices for three of us)
2 eggs
a dash of milk
shortcrust pastry

Stick the oven on at about 180 degrees C, and find a quiche/flan tin or dish (preferably with a removable bottom).

Gently fry the onion in a little olive oil until it's translucent. Wash the chard, drain in a colander, and then tip into the onion pan. It'll gently wilt, and shrink to about a tenth of its former volume over a couple of minutes. Stir it occasionally to stop it sticking.

Line the flan dish with your shortcrust pastry, and then place the whole thing on a baking sheet. Tip the chard/onion mixture on top of the pastry, and then decorate roughly with the chorizo slices. Beat the two eggs together in a mixing jug, and add a splash of milk (or cream if you have it lying around the fridge). Tip into the pastry case, season with some ground black pepper, and bake in the oven for 20-30 minutes, until the pastry is crisp and the eggy mixture is set.


It goes very well with a tomato salad. Or more green leaves, if you've got an allotment glut...

Gooseberry icecream

We have finally found another recipe involving gooseberries that we all like. Hurrah! (Especially given that the gooseberry bush on the allotment is crawling with big fat berries this year).

If you didn't freeze this, it'd make a nice gooseberry fool (although you may want to tone down the sugar).

You'll need:

500g gooseberries, topped and tailed
150g caster sugar
a tablespoon of water
250ml greek yoghurt
250ml double cream

Sling the gooseberries in a non-stick saucepan with the sugar and water. Bring to the boil (really carefully so the sugar doesn't catch), and then simmer for 10 minutes or so until the gooseberries are pulpy.

Strain through a sieve - you'll have a beautiful green puree. In the meantime, whip the yoghurt and double cream together until it holds in soft peaks. Stir through the gooseberry puree, and then tip everything into an ice cream maker, or into a plastic box to go into the freezer.

If you're using an ice cream maker like mine, the tricky bit is remembering to put the bowl in the freezer the day before you need it so it's suitably cold. If you're using the good old-fashioned plastic box method, you'll need to take it out of the freezer every hour or two to give the ice cream a good whisk as it solidifies.

It's delicious with fresh raspberries or strawberries sprinkled on the top. You quite liked yours with hundreds and thousands (the colours aren't what they used to be though).

Oaty cherry biscuits

I was going to take a photo of these, but you and your Dad ate them so fast that there were none left. I think they've joined his list of favourite biscuits (although Anzac biscuits may still be top of the heap).

You'll need:

125g butter
25g caster sugar
50g light muscovado sugar
75g self-raising flour
112g porridge oats
100g glace cherries, chopped
25g raisins

Stick the oven on at about 180 degrees C. You'll need a baking tray, and a silicon sheet or some greaseproof paper - these will stick horribly otherwise.

Beat the butter and sugar (both kinds) together until they look fluffy. Stir in the flour and oats, and mix everything really well. Don't worry about the fact there's no liquid - it all comes together remarkably well (it's probably the appalling amount of butter involved).

Tip in the cherries and raisins, and stir until they're evenly spread throughout the mixture.

Divide the mix into lots of little balls (about as big as a ping-pong ball). Sling them on a tray (reasonably well spread out, as the mix does spread a little), and then flatten each ball with your fingers.

Bake for 15-20 minutes, until the biscuits have turned golden brown round the edges - you still want them a little squidgy in the centre.

Cool on the baking sheets for a few minutes, and then sling them on a wire rack to cool down properly. They go beautifully with a nice cup of coffee at about 10.30am.

Spinach and feta muffins

I adapted a Hugh Fearnley-Whernley recipe for these - and it turned out a treat.

Makes 12 enormous muffins, or lots and lots of fairy-cake sized ones. You'll need:

1 small onion, finely chopped
whatever spinach you have lurking at the bottom of the fridge, chopped
a little olive oil
half a pack or so of feta, cubed
250g self-raising flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon bicarb of soda
a little salt (not a lot, as the feta's pretty salty)
2 eggs
80g butter, melted and cooled down a bit
200ml buttermilk (either use milk with a squeeze of lemon juice, or add 75g yoghurt to 125ml milk...)

Stick your oven on at about 200 degrees C, and line your muffin tin/cupcake tin with paper/silicon cases of your choice.

Fry the onion in a little olive oil, until it turns translucent. Add the chopped spinach, and stir for a couple of minutes until it's wilted. Take off the heat, and leave to cool.

Sling the flour, bicarb, baking powder and salt into a large mixing bowl. Whisk the eggs/buttermilk/melted butter together in a jug - and then pour them into the flour mixture. Mix everything gently together. Carefully fold in the onion/spinach mixture, and then the feta cheese.

Spoon the muffin mixture into your cases, and then bake in the oven for about 10-12 minutes (small fairy-cake size), or a 15-20 minutes (large muffin size) until golden.

Eat lots while hot. They'll keep for a while, but are loveliest warm.

Creamy chicken, thyme and leek

This goes really well with some plain rice, and maybe some steamed greens/broccoli.

You'll need:

3-4 chicken thighs, deboned and chopped into large chunks (it's also good with leftover cooked chicken)
1/2 small carton of cream (or whatever you've got left in the fridge)
a couple of large leeks
a clove of garlic, or a bulb of wet garlic, finely chopped
a few sprigs of fresh thyme (or a sprinkle of the dried stuff)
lots of black pepper

Chuck the chicken into a frying pan, together with a slosh of olive oil, and brown the meat. Tip in the leeks and garlic, and fry until they have softened too.

Add the cream and a little water, sprinkle over the herbs, and leave to simmer for 10-15 minutes until the chicken is cooked through (you may have to add a little more water to stop it sticking).

Feta and courgette frittata

Another one in the "ooh, look what I found in the fridge" series.

You'll need:

4-5 eggs, depending on how large they are
a little milk
a handful of sliced cooked potatoes
an onion, finely sliced
a couple of courgettes, chunkily sliced
half a packet of feta cheese, cut into chunks
some dried thyme
lots of black pepper
olive oil

You'll need a reasonably large, heavy-bottomed frying pan (it helps if you've got one without a plastic handle, so it can go under the grill at the end). Start off by frying the onion in a little olive oil until it's translucent. You'll then need to add a really good slurp of olive oil (probably a couple of tablespoons), and layer up the courgette/potato slices. Leave this to cook for 5 minutes or so.

Dot the pan with the chunks of feta cheese. Scatter some dried thyme over the top of everything, and give it a good dose of black pepper. Mix together the eggs with a little milk, and pour into your frying pan.

Turn the heat down low, and leave for 15-20 minutes, until most of the egg has set (I think I left mine for about half an hour - good if you like crispy potatoes on the bottom of the frittata). Turn on the grill, and sling the pan under it for another 5-10 minutes, until the top of your frittata is browned.

We ate this with just a green salad - it was surprisingly filling!

Norwegian pretzels

As you might have guessed, we made these for Eurovision, which was beamed live via satellite from Oslo. Sadly, Morten Harket didn't make an appearance and the UK was marooned at the bottom of the table. But the pretzels were good. Hurrah!

You'll need:

1 envelope of dried yeast
1/2 cup warm water
1 teaspoon black treacle
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups bread flour
1 egg, beaten (or a little milk)
extra salt flakes

Stick your oven on at about 220 degrees C. Dissolve the yeast in the warm water, and add the black treacle and salt. Stir to create an unholy mess.

Tip in the flour, and mix to a dough. We had to add a little extra water, to get everything to stick together. Knead the dough really well, until it becomes elastic, then divide up into small pieces. Roll each of these out into thin snakes, and then twist into shapes (this was the bit you loved - you were surprisingly brilliant at making hearts).

Place on a baking sheet, and brush with the egg (or milk). Scatter some flakes of sea salt over the top of each.

Bake in the oven for 10 minutes if you like them chewy - a little bit longer (maybe switch off the oven and leave them inside as it cools down?) if you want them crispy.

Minced chicken donburi

We've been trying out some recipes from the amazing Harumi's Japanese Home Cooking (by Harumi Kurihara), which I found in our local library. She seems to be a cross between the sainted Delia and Martha Stewart - but her recipes are a winner.

I adapted this donburi one somewhat - she suggests garnishing with mange tout, but we ate ours with some steamed broccoli.

Makes enough for 3. You'll need:

cooked rice (we had our usual mug-ful of rice, two mugs of water)
250g minced chicken (or turkey)
3 tablespoons soy sauce
1 1/2 tablespoons caster sugar
1 1/2 tablespoons mirin (we'd run out of this, and of sherry too - so it will be interesting to try it again with some)
3 boiled eggs, quartered

Fry the minced chicken/turkey, until it is browned. Add the soy sauce, sugar and mirin, and simmer until nearly all the liquid has evaporated.

Serve the mince on top of the hot cooked rice, topped with some boiled egg and steamed broccoli.

Harumi also suggests sweetened shiitake mushrooms as an additional topping - she simmers rehydrated shiitake mushrooms in a similar soy sauce/mirin/sugar mix (6 dried mushrooms to 1 1/2 tablespoons soy sauce, 1 1/2 tablespoons mirin and 2 teaspoons caster sugar).

Tabbouleh

We ate this with some cold roast lamb, and pitta breads.

Makes enough for four greedy adults, as a side dish (would be lovely too with some sharp cheese, like feta).

You'll need:

125g bulgar wheat
2-3 large tomatoes, chopped
3 spring onions, chopped
lots of flatleaf parsley, chopped
a good handful of mint, chopped
4 tablespoons olive oil
2 tablespoons lemon juice (I used the juice of 1 lemon)

Soak the bulgar wheat in hot water for 20 minutes or so, until it's softened. Drain, and run under the cold tap.

Chuck the bulgar wheat, tomatoes, spring onions, parsley and mint in a large bowl. Mix. Drizzle over the olive oil and lemon juice, and mix again. Season with salt and black pepper.

You can eat this straightaway, but I find it tastes nicer once it's been left for an hour or so, so the flavours have had a chance to mingle.

Fried rice cakes with leeks and poached egg

We're in a post-Paris slump at the moment, trying to forget how gorgeous the croissants were, and how hot and sunny it was.

This revived our spirits no end. You'll need:

enough cooked rice for 2 (we use a mugful of dried rice, and 2 mugfuls of water)
1/2 teaspoon of saffron powder
50-60g grated cheese (mature cheddar is good, feta or parmesan would also be nice)
a couple of leeks, sliced
250ml stock
50ml cream
a pinch of dried tarragon
3 eggs

Dissolve the saffron powder in a tablespoon of water, then mix into the cooked rice. Add the cheese, some salt and some black pepper. Bind all this together with 1 of the eggs.

Meanwhile, fry the leeks in a little olive oil for a couple of minutes. Add the stock, cream, tarragon and more black pepper, and leave to simmer for 10-15 minutes, until the leeks are soft, and the sauce has reduced.

Heat a little olive oil in a non-stick pan, and sling in a couple of good spoonfuls of rice - flatten it down with a spatula. It should be about 1cm thick, and maybe about 5-7cm across (it really depends on the size of the spatula/fish slice you're using to move it around in the pan!). Fry for at least 5 minutes on each side, so the rice goes crispy and lightly browned.

Transfer to a warm place, while you cook the other cakes. Top with the leeks and sauce, and a poached egg (crack an egg into a pan of boiling water, and leave to cook for about 1 1/2 minutes - or until the egg white has stopped being wobbly!). A fried egg would also be good - as would some chorizo.

Roast Jerusalem artichokes

We had some of these in the veg box last week, and they've been lurking in the fridge ever since. Stuck for what to do, I turned to the trusty Nigel Slater, and his book about vegetables, Tender.

You'll need 3-4 Jerusalem artichokes per person, if you're having them as a side dish. Beware their side-effects!

Stick your oven on at about 180 degrees C or hotter (often it depends what else you're cooking in there).

Wash the artichokes, and slice them lengthways. Sling a knob of butter and a good slug of olive oil in your roasting tin, and put it into the oven to heat up. After 5 minutes or so, bring the tin out, and place the artichokes face down in the butter/oil. Chuck in a couple of cloves of garlic for each person, still in their skins.

Roast in the oven for 20-25 minutes, until the bottoms are crispy. Squeeze a little lemon over the top, and add lots of salt and black pepper.

Cakey flapjacks

Don't get me wrong - they're still pretty solid - but these are slightly more cakey than your average flapjack.

Makes lots (at least 16). You'll need:

175g light brown sugar
150g butter
3 tablespoons golden syrup
1 teaspoon bicarb of soda
200g plain flour
200g oats
a good handful of raisins

Stick the oven on at about 180 degrees C, and line a tray/dish with greaseproof paper. The size of the dish will depend on how deep you want your flapjack to be - you could even do this on a baking tray.

Sling the butter, sugar, golden syrup and bicarb in a saucepan, and put on a low heat. They'll melt and look an unholy mess - give it a good stir, and don't worry about it. Add the flour, oats and raisins, and stir until well mixed.

Tip into your dish/tray, level it all out, and bake in the oven for 20-25 minutes, until it's turned golden brown. Leave to cool in the tin - but do remember to divide it into slices, as it's pretty solid once it's cooled down.

Baked dippy eggs

This has to be the easiest thing to make for lunch ever. It even beats boiled eggs.

Makes enough for 3. You'll need:

3 small ramekin dishes
3 eggs
a couple of slices of parma ham, torn into small pieces
a handful of spinach leaves
a little grated cheese (something strong like mature cheddar or parmesan would be good)

Stick the oven on at about 180 degrees C, and butter the ramekin dishes.

Sling a few pieces of parma ham and some spinach leaves into each ramekin. Crack an egg into each, and sprinkle a little grated cheese on top.

Bake in the oven for 5-10 minutes until the egg white is solid, but the yolk is still runny. Keep checking on it!

Aubergine curry

Curry seems to be going down well at the moment - you ate this with a little rice and some cumin potatoes, and liked all three.

Makes enough for 4, as one of a couple of main course dishes. It'd also be nice with some chickpeas thrown in.

You'll need:

1 onion, finely sliced
1 medium aubergine, cut into chunks
1 green pepper, cut into large(ish) pieces
whatever veg you have left in the fridge that you need to use up (we had a small piece of butternut squash that got chucked in)
1 teaspoon ground coriander
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon turmeric
1 teaspoon medium curry powder
1 teaspoon brown sugar
(you could also add some chilli powder, if you're making this for non-small people, or indeed for small people who like spice)
sunflower oil
1 tin of chopped tomatoes

Fry the onion in a little sunflower oil until it turns translucent. Add the pepper and aubergine chunks, and fry until they have softened (you may need to add some more oil - the aubergine will absorb a lot). Chuck in all the spices, and fry for a couple of minutes.

Add the chopped butternut squash (or whatever other veg you want to use up), and the tin of chopped tomatoes. Rinse the tin out with some water, and add this in too. Bring everything to the boil, and then simmer for 20-30 minutes, or as long as you've got.

Cumin potatoes

We made these to go with the aubergine curry - they're very fragrant, and not too spicy.

You'll need:

500g potatoes (ish)
1 teaspoon black mustard seeds
3 teaspoons cumin seeds
2 teaspoons ground cumin
2 teaspoons ground coriander
1 teaspoon turmeric
a squeeze of lime juice
2-3 tablespoons sunflower oil

Peel, cube and boil the potatoes until they are tender. Meanwhile, heat the oil in a frying pan, and stir fry the mustard seeds and cumin seeds for a minute. Add the rest of the spices, and fry for another 1-2 minutes.

Add the potatoes, and fry for 5 or so minutes, until the outside of them has gone crispy. Squeeze over a little lime juice, and serve (they'd be nice with a little chopped fresh coriander on top).

It would also make a great way to roast the potatoes - once you've got the oil and spices ready, chuck the potatoes in a roasting tin, sling the oil/spices over them, and toss to mix. Roast in a hot oven (220 degrees C or hotter) for 15-20 minutes (they're only in small cubes, remember), until they've gone crispy.

Chocolate tart

With optional Easter chicks. 'Scuse the bad photo, but it was taken after a couple of glasses of fizz, and the phone was wobbling slightly.

You made this for your chocaholic Grandma for Easter Sunday lunch - we took it with us as a surprise. She wasn't allowed to look at it until all the chicks had been carefully placed on top.

It's based on a lovely Rachel Allen recipe from her Bake collection, and serves...well, that all depends on how greedy you are. We comfortably got 12 portions from it.

You'll need:

shortcrust pastry (8oz flour usually gives enough to line a 20cm flan dish, plus a little left over for 4 or 5 jam tarts)

125g milk chocolate, chopped into small pieces
175g dark chocolate (ditto)
2 eggs (beaten)
175ml double cream
125ml milk

Stick your oven on at about 180 degrees C, and grease your flan dish. Line with shortcrust pastry, prick the bottom with a fork, and then weight down a sheet of greaseproof paper with some baking beads or lentils/rice etc. Bake the pastry shell in the oven for 12-15 minutes, until it's turned golden brown.

In the meantime, mix together the cream and milk in a saucepan, and bring to boiling point. Quickly take it off the heat, and tip in the small pieces of chocolate (taking care to test a few on the way). Stir until they have dissolved, and you have a glorious creamy, glossy, chocolate-y sauce.

Leave to cool slightly, then carefully mix in the eggs. Pour the mixture into the pastry shell, and bake in the oven for 15-20 minutes - you want it to just softly set. If you leave it to cool in the tin, it'll be much easier to extract.

Bento

You haven't been feeling great this week, so I made you a bento box for tea - spinach and cucumber salad, some steamed rice with peanuts, a little poached salmon, and a few slices of banana. And a little lake of soy sauce for dipping in the centre, of course.

Smoked salmon and courgette quiche

This was one that your Dad and me loved, but which you wouldn't touch with a bargepole. Funny - you love slices of bread topped with smoked salmon.


Makes enough for 4. You'll need:

1 large courgette, chopped into smallish chunks
a small packet of smoked salmon, torn into small pieces
1 onion, finely chopped
shortcrust pastry (made with about 8oz flour)
2 eggs
1/2 pt full cream milk
a little olive oil
a sprinkle of thyme (dill would be lovely if you have some), and lashings of black pepper

Stick the oven on at about 180 degrees C, and fish out (a) one of those flan dishes with a removable bottom and (b) a baking tray to stand it on. Grease the flan dish, or line with some greaseproof paper.

Roll out your shortcrust pastry, and line the flan dish. Mine's about 20cm across, I think, and this amount of pastry is more than enough to line the dish and have a little left for 3 or 4 jam tarts.

Fry the onions in a little olive oil, until they turn translucent. Add the chopped courgette, and cook until it's softened (but not too much, or you'll have a soggy mess on your hands).

Tip the courgette/onion into your flan dish, and spread them about artistically. Add the smoked salmon pieces, and season with some thyme and lots of black pepper.

Lightly beat the eggs with the milk, and pour (carefully) into the pastry shell. Make sure it's on the baking tray before you start - there's nothing worse than wobbling across the kitchen with it.

Bake in the oven for 30-40 minutes, until the pastry is golden brown and the filling is set. Eat while still warm, with a green salad.